Pa's Favorite
by megfurtado
Summary: Little Joe becomes jealous when Ben starts to pay more attention to his new little sister Amelia prompting Joe to think that Amelia is Pa's favorite. Joe's P.O.V please R&R
1. Chapter 1

Bonanza Pa's Favorite

Ages: Amelia 1; Little Joe 7; Hoss 13; Adam 19

Description: Little Joe becomes jealous when Ben starts to pay more attention to little sister Amelia prompting Joe to think that Amelia is Pa's favorite. Joe's P.O.V

Ever since my step mother Catherine's death and my baby sister Amelia was born I probably won't admit this but I was having a hard time adjusting to my new role in the family. I know I will always be Hoss and Adam's younger brother and I will always be Pa's youngest son but there was something different.

I am no longer the baby of the family. I don't know how Hoss was able to adjust being a big brother but it's hard. I love my baby sister but I don't know how to be a good big brother to her.

I really like to be a good brother to her just like Adam and Hoss are to me. I hope I get to spend some time with Pa with raising four kids I hope Pa won't be too busy to spend time with me.

Boy was I wrong! All my Pa does is spend time with _**her. **_When he's not out working on the range with Adam he's at home taking care of Amelia.

He doesn't have time for me anymore it's like Amelia is his favorite. Why wouldn't she be his favorite? After all she is the only girl and like the saying goes "Pa's little girl….."

My bedroom door opened and there my father stood his hand on the door knob and has a disappointed look on his face. That's when I knew that I was in trouble. Boy was I in trouble. I never seen my Pa so angry not that he didn't have good reason to be I made Amelia cry.

It all started earlier today….


	2. Chapter 2

It all started earlier today, we were sitting at the table eating breakfast. I was telling Pa about what we were gonna do at school but he was too busy feeding Amelia he didn't notice that I was talking to him. I glance at my plate and decided not to say anything else.

Hopefully Hoss and Adam didn't notice the disappointed look on my face but I knew they were sensing something was wrong. Boy I am lucky to have the best big brothers in the entire world. They know when I'm in trouble and know exactly what to say to make me feel better.

Hoss is my best friend and playmate. It always fun going fishing with Hoss or playing tricks on Adam. It's even fun to play checkers with Hoss (because I cheat!). Hoss is one of the best big brothers a boy can have.

My relationship with Adam is a lot different than mine with Hoss. I love Adam as much as I love Hoss. Adam and I have bumped heads over the years but I know without a doubt that Adam will always be there for me no matter what. Adam is one of the best big brothers a boy can have.

Adam and Hoss look at each other before they looked at me. "What's the matter Joe?" asked Hoss. "Nothing" I muttered looking at my plate. I didn't notice to see Hoss and Adam looking at each other again. Somehow I knew that they weren't let this go. And they didn't.

Later after breakfast I was walking out in the yard to do my barn chores. I don't mind doing barn chores because I can talk to Cochise about my problem and I don't have my brothers hovering over me.

I walked over to the barn door and I could hear Hoss and Adam talking. Naturally I can't pass up an opportunity to listen in on my brothers so I hid behind the door and listen.

"I really think that there is something bothering little Joe" I heard Adam say. "I don't know Adam he said that it was nothing" said Hoss. "I know he did but I'm not sure I believe him. He's been down in the dumps for the past few weeks. I'm worried about him Hoss. It's not like Joe to keep things bottled up inside" said Adam concerned.

"Yeah you're right Adam but what do you think we ought to do? It's not like we can force Joe into telling us. You don't suppose it's a girl do ya?" asked Hoss jokingly. "I think Joe is still at that age where he doesn't like girls but come to think of it he really doesn't bother much with Amelia" said Adam.

"Maybe he's still getting use to being the big brother. It ain't an easy adjustment especially for someone like Joe who's been the youngest for so long" said Hoss. "I hope that's all there is but if it isn't I hope he talks to somebody about it and soon" said Adam. Hoss nods in agreement.

They walk out of the yard with their horses thank god they didn't notice me hiding behind the door. If they had I was gonna be in a heap of trouble. They mount up on their horses and ride away. Once the coast was clear I walk out from behind the door. I contemplated about what I heard my brothers said and I knew that they were right.

After I had finished his chores that afternoon I was walking toward the house hoping to get some lunch when I saw Pa walking out carrying Amelia and up to me. "Joe can you do me a big favor?" asked Pa hopingly.

I was surprise that this was the first time all week that my father acknowledged me without being yelled at. "Sure Pa anything" I said eagerly and smiling.

"Can you watch Amelia out here for me while I get some paperwork done?" asked Ben. My face dropped surprised. I was hoping that Pa would set me out on an errand not babysitting my annoying one year old sister.

I didn't want to disappoint my Pa and say no because then I would have to tell him why and I don't feel like getting into that area of discussion with him so I nod my head.

"Sure Pa" I said obediently. Pa smiles as he put Amelia down next to me. "Thanks Joe I really appreciate this. I'll be right inside if you need me" said Pa as he walks away.

Amelia touches my hand. I look down at her not buying her innocent cuteness. "Pway Woe" she said. I just glared at her. I don't know why I had to be stuck watching her when Hoss and Adam were perfectly capable of doing it inside.

It was her fault that Pa has no time for me anymore. She stole my Pa away from me and I hated her for it. "I don't have time to play with a stupid baby like you. It's your fault that Pa doesn't have time for me anymore. I wish you were never born. You ruined my life! I hate you!" I yelled losing my temper.

Without thinking about what I was doing I shoved her to the ground. As soon as I heard her wail and cry I realize the terrible thing I just did and hated myself for it.

Just then I heard the door open and saw Pa, Adam and Hoss running toward us. I knew I was gonna be in deep trouble. Pa immediately picks Amelia up and holds her.

"JOSEPH what happen?" asked Pa angry. I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't want to tell him what happen cause I knew it would send me a trip over his knee not that I don't deserve it.

Ben saw the guilt look on the boy's faced and knew that something happened that he wasn't gonna like. "JOSEPH FRANCIS CARTWRIGHT! Upstairs to your room I'll be there momentarily!" Pa bellowed.

I flinch when I heard him yelled and I walk into the house and in my room.

Ben, Adam and Hoss look at each other and followed him to the house.


	3. Chapter 3

Once inside Ben turns to Adam and Hoss and hands the baby over to Adam. "Take care of your sister while I'll have a stern talk with that young brother of yours" said Ben sternly as he walk up the stairs thinking about what he was gonna say to him.

I was sitting on the end of my bed. My head sulked as I thought about what I had done and about what Pa was gonna say. I never meant to hurt Amelia and I felt very ashamed of myself for that. I was a horrible brother and I can't blame her if she doesn't want to play with me ever again.

I heard the jiggle of the doorknob. My bedroom door open and there was Pa standing in the doorway with his hand on the doorknob and had a disappointed look on his face.

That's when I knew I was in a heap of trouble. "What's been bothering you son? You've been awfully quiet these past few says" Pa said.

"I shrug my shoulders and said "Nothings bother me". I knew that that made Pa madder. "Then do you care to explain to me why your baby sister was crying?" asked Pa sternly as he walks over to me.

"I yelled at her" I said full of ashamed. Pa looks at me and I know he was shocked. "Why did you yell at her?" "Because she was annoying me and I was mad" I said trying not to cry.

"Why were you mad?" asked Pa. I couldn't hold my temper any longer and yelled "BECAUSE YOU FAVOR HER OVER ME AND YOU LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU DO ME!"

I got up and stormed out of my room. The second after I yelled at my father I regretted it. Ben couldn't believe that his son would think that he had a favorite child but he was more appalled that Joe would think that he love Amelia more than him.

He was starting to worry that Adam and Hoss were feeling the same way.


	4. Chapter 4

I stomped down the stairs to see my brothers sitting at the table taking care of Amelia. They look up at me with concern looks on their faces but I didn't care and walk straight out the door.

Hoss looks at Adam who nods his head. Hoss gets up and walks out the door just as Ben was walking down the stairs. Seeing the troubling look on his father's face Adam immediately gets up picks Amelia up and walks over to him.

Ben plops down on the blue chair while Adam takes a seat on the settee with Amelia on his lap. "Don't worry Pa Hoss went to go check on Joe" assured Adam.

Ben nods his head staring into space. "What happened Pa?" asked Adam. Ben turns to Adam. "Joe thinks that I favor Amelia" said Ben. Adam was shock but he suspected as much that that was what had been troubling his brother.

"Do you and Hoss think that I favor Amelia?" asked Ben worriedly. "Pa, Hoss and I know you don't have favorites and that you love us all the same" persuaded Adam confidently.

Ben smiles relieved. "I'm glad you both feel that way but I can't understand why Joe feels that way" said Ben struggling to understand.

"Joe was the youngest for a while Pa and when Amelia was being born Joe was scared that everyone was gonna pay more attention to the baby and not him" said Adam. Ben looks at him astounded.

"How come he never told me that?" asked Ben confused. Adam shrugs his shoulder. "Maybe he didn't want you to think that he was jealous of the baby" said Adam before kissing Amelia's cheek.

"Hoss and I were talking and we figures that by the way Joe is acting toward you and Amelia….well we think maybe he's jealous or still adjusting to the role of big brother" said Adam.

Ben nods his head considering what Adam had said. "Maybe he wants your attention after all you haven't spent time with him all week" suggested Adam. Ben's eyes widen. "Oh my I can't believe I was neglecting him" said Ben feeling guilty and horrible. No wonder why the boy was upset.

He turns to Adam as he gets up. "Thank you son for helping me realize what I need to do to make this up to Joe" said Ben. "You're welcome Pa" said Adam glad that he was able to help. He just hope that Hoss was having the same luck he did.


	5. Chapter 5

Hoss had found me crying in the barn I turn to look at him. "I yelled at Pa, Hoss and I yelled at Amelia and push her to the ground" I sobbed feeling guilty.

I saw how surprise Hoss was and I knew that he would be upset. "Why on earth did you do that little brother" he asked. "Because I thought Pa was favoring Amelia and I got mad" I admitted.

I still couldn't believe that I did that. I promise myself that I wouldn't hurt her and then I do something like that and what was worst was that I yelled at my Pa.

I never yelled at Pa before and I saw that I hurt him when I did. I never wanted to do that but I was so angry I lost my temper. Pa always told me to watch my temper. I hope he can forgive me even if he doesn't love me as much as he does Amelia.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and look up to see that it was Hoss. I'm glad that he wasn't mad at me or at least I hope he wasn't.

"C'mon Joe you know dang well that Pa doesn't have any favorites" Hoss said. "He loves us all equally". I look at him unconvinced. I want to believe him but I couldn't convince myself that he was right. Hoss would never lie to me but I still wasn't convinced.

"Then how come he's spending all his time with her?" I asked annoyed. "That's because Amelia is still a baby and needs a lot of attention from Pa" Hoss explained.

I guess that made sense. Maybe Pa doesn't have favorites maybe I was jealous of Amelia after all. I hate myself for thinking that. I don't want to be jealous of her and I don't want to be a horrible brother to her.

"I didn't think of that. I better go apologize to Pa and Amelia" I said after hugging Hoss.

I ran out of the barn and to the house. Oh I hope they forgive me and know how much I love them both.

I walk in the house to find Pa standing by the fireplace. I could tell that he was lost in thought. "Pa" I said nervously. Pa turns to look at me. I could see tears streaming down his cheeks and it broke my heart.

I started to cry as I ran over to him throwing my arms around him. "I'm…so….sorry…for…losing…my…temper…Pa" I sobbed. Pa lifts my up as he sits down on a chair putting me on his lap.

"Oh Joe I understand and I'm terribly sorry that I haven't pay any attention to you. I never intend to make you think that I favor Amelia over you and your brothers. I love you boys as much as I love Amelia and I don't want you to ever think that I don't love you or that you are not wanted son because I do love you and you are wanted no matter what" said Pa.

He kisses me on my head. Normally I would have made a fuss over it but I admit that I really needed it.

"Ok Pa I understand and I am really sorry for being jealous of Amelia and making her cry. I bet she won't forgive me and think that I'm a horrible big brother" I said.

I would give anything to take it back. I don't hate her and I could never in a million years hate her. I love my baby sister and I always will.

"Oh Joe your sister would never think that and she'll forgive you. Just be more careful with what you say to her alright" Pa said.

"Yes Pa. I love you" I said. Pa holds me close in his arms. "I love you too son" Pa said. "Can I go apologize to Amelia?" I asked anxiously.

I really wanted to tell her how sorry I am and tell her how much I love her. "She's taking a nap but you can go up and sit with her until she wakes then you can tell her" said Pa.

"Ok Pa" I said after hugging him again. I was glad that I talk thing out with him. I was feeling much better and I hoped that Amelia would let me apologize to her.


	6. Chapter 6

I walk up stairs passing Adam's room and I notice that his door which was normally close was open. I look in to see my big brother sitting on his bed reading.

"Adam" I said. Adam puts his book down and looks over to see me in the doorway. "Can I talk to you?" I asked hopingly.

Whenever I had a problem I know Adam would help me I just hope that he can help me now. "Come in Joe" said Adam I could see the curious look on his face.

I walk in and Adam helps me onto his bed. "I'm sorry Adam" I said full of sorrow. I never knew how hard it was to be a big brother and I felt guilty that I made that job a difficult one for Adam all these years.

Adam looks at him confused and wondered why Joe was apologizing. "Sorry for what little brother?" I look up at him with tears in my eyes.

"I'm sorry that I make your job as older brother touch and that I never appreciated how difficult it is for you to look out not just for me but for Hoss and Amelia also" I said.

Adam touches the back of my neck tenderly. "Oh Joe you don't make it tough. Sure it can be difficult sometimes like it is to be the younger brother, huh" said Adam.

I nod my head. "It's a tough job being the big brother; having to look after your younger siblings but I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. I love being the older brother and some day maybe you'll see the joy of being a big brother to Amelia" said Adam.

"I guess but I don't think I could ever be good at it like you and Hoss are" I said looking down. Adam lifts my chin up and I look into his eyes.

"Do you why Hoss and I are good at it?" Adam asked. I shook my head. "It's because of years of experience. We learn….and someday you'll learn this too the most important job as a big brother besides protecting the ones you love is to be a good role model for your younger siblings" said Adam.

"Well I can say from experience that you and Hoss are the best role models around. I just hope I can be a good one to Amelia but I don't see how after what I did to her" I said letting a few tears roll down my cheeks.

I'm glad that I'm not embarrassed to cry in front of my brother yet. I always felt safe to show my feelings to my brothers and know that they would never judge me about them. I am the luckiest guy in the world to have wonderful brothers like Hoss and Adam.

"You still feel guilty for yelling at her don't you?" Adam asked. I guess it was that obvious. I nod my head. "I push her to the ground and told her I hated her" I rued. I never felt so guilty in my entire life.

"She knows that you didn't mean it" Adam assured me. I just shook my head no.

"She probably hates me and probably won't forgive me not that I can blame her" I said. Adam puts his arms around me and holds me.

"Of course she will she loves you" Adam told me. "You really think so?" I asked anxiously.

I really hoped that she will forgive me and love me as much as I do her. I would give anything to know that my sister who I cherish more than anything loves me.

"Sure I do" my older brother replied. I look up at him and I hug him tightly. "I love you Adam" I said. I don't say it a lot but I try to tell him as much as I can.

Adam hugs me just as tightly and whispers in my ear. "I love you too little brother very much". I pull away from Adam and he kisses me on the head.

Normally I would have yell telling him that I was too big for kisses but I really needed it. I got up off the bed and walk out of the room feeling better about everything.


	7. Chapter 7

I walk down the hall to Amelia's room. I walk in the room to find my precious little sister safe in her crib sleeping peacefully.

I smile as I walk over to the chair and sat beside her watching her sleep and thanking god for giving me a beautiful baby sister.

Amelia wakes up to see Joe. Once I saw her eyes open I got up and lifted her up out of the crib and sat her down on my lap.

"Wittle Woe mad at me?" Amelia asked in that cute baby talk of hers that melted my heart.

"No I'm not mad at you sweetheart. I'm terribly sorry I yelled at you today and for not wanting to play with you. I love you so much. I promise that I will always will and that there's nothing in this world that will **ever **make me hate you" I said to her.

"I could never hate my baby sister and I promise I'll be the best big brother ever and I'll always be there for you whenever you need me. I vow to always protect you and take care of you" I said then I kiss her on the head as tears began to drip down on my cheeks.

Amelia looks up at me. "Wittle…Woe…pway…with…me…" I smiled at her and said "You bet I will and after supper I'll even read you a story".

I could see the excitement in her eyes. Amelia love to be read to. "I wuv you" she said. I started to cry as I hugged her and kiss her. This was the greatest day of my life; the day that my little sister told me she loves me.

I guess Adam was right it's not so bad being the big brother after all.


End file.
